The Cure For Insomnia Gloucester v Bath

I am now at an age where quality sleep is difficult to obtain, long dark nights are interspersed with fitful sleep, constant glances at the luminous  clock to watch the hours tick slowly by towards daylight.

Gloucester v Bath on Saturday proved to be the answer to my prayers, as an endless first half descended into an exhibition of muddy error strewn rugby, my eyelids fell and I drifted into a lengthy deep blissful sleep.

Not the greatest compliment an Aviva Premership West Country Derby would wish to  receive, but a very grateful one from me none the less.

Wallabies Fail To Remove Stubborn Steyn

Having been reported missing at welford road last year, I am pleased to be able to inform readers that Morne Steyn was found alive and well at Loftus Versfeld last Saturday afternoon.

His 18 points (4 penalties and 2 drop goals) gave South Africa a much needed victory over Australia by 18 points to 10.

Australia scored the only try of the game through prop Scott Sio, but Steyn’s boot proved to be the crucial factor in the Boks win.

Vern Cotter’s Euro Millions

The gulf between the haves and have-nots in professional rugby was vividly highlighted this week when news emerged that Scotland coach Vern Cotter will take charge of Montpellier next summer.

The deal makes him the first club coach to earn over one million euros per annum.

Montpellier’s billionaire owner Mohed Altrad is behind the deal that will see Cotter earn more than £2.5 million over three years.

AA Meeting At Twickenham On Saturday

Next Saturday why not join me at an AA meeting !

This one will involve the odd drink or two, as the AA in question refers to Argentina and Australia, who meet at Twickenham , kick off 7.30pm, in the final match of the 2016 rugby championship.

Tickets still available via Ticketmaster.

Do not miss next Monday’s SportsDragons Roar “Last Tango In Twickenham ”

Hasta pronto amigos !

Just The Ticket

Top tickets for Wales v England in next years RBS 6 Nations will be priced at £100

There is no getting away from the fact that at fifty eight years of age, and a budding Victor Meldrew, I am riled by pretty much any price rise, but the news that to watch a Wales match, in Cardiff, could cost as much as my first car makes me very relieved that I am on medication to control my blood pressure.

In 1974 as an acne ridden teenager I attended my first England v Wales match, at Twickenham, the ticket cost the princely sum of 65p.

France’s home international tickets start at 15 euros, which is probably the best value for money to be had anywhere, I know people who are watching the All Blacks and Australia at the Stade de France this Autumn for a total sum of under thirty quid.

As a youngster a ticket for a rugby international was always affordable, just very difficult to get hold of, I hope we are not going to make international rugby an elitist event.

Love At First Bite

Enough has been written about Chris Ashton this week so I will not bore you any further on that score, but it served to remind me of a biting incident that took place in 2015 that went without sanction.

Italian prop Martin Castrogiovanni was forced  to miss the Scotland v Italy six nations match last year, after being bitten by a friends dog.

Castro was bitten on the nose resulting in an injury that required fourteen stitches.

I’m not sure as to the colour of the dog but my guess is that it was black, as the four legged assailant was neither cited nor cautioned after the incident.

Super Maro

Maro Itoji woke up yesterday morning with a very unusual taste in his mouth, it was something his pallet had not experienced for a very long time, the taste of defeat.

Saracens defeat at Harlequins brought to an end the young man’s remarkable run of 31 wins in 31 starts for club and country.

Maybe this is the week  for unbeaten runs to be broken, in which case it’s over to you Los Pumas….. Vamos !

Jean Pierre Rives was dabbling in French sporting philosophy before Eric Cantona’s trawlers had located their first seagull.

There was a time when this man strode the world rugby stage, invariably in blood stained jersey his blond mane flowing like a Viking warrior in battle.

These days the hair is still blonde, the face and waistline are a little fuller but there is no mistaking the French  rugby legend that is Jean Pierre Rives.

He now works in a disused railway shed to the north of Paris, the creative home of Rives the sculpture and painter.

His works have been exhibited in Paris, Toulouse, Los Angeles and Singapore. 

“ My success is that I am happy doing it, my ambition is just to go on”

Jean Pierre emphasises that art and rugby are one, he talks about the spiritual concept of the team, the glory, the bravery, the sacrifice that the team ethos inspires you to fulfil.

Born in Toulouse on New Year’s Eve 1952, he won his first cap against England, at Twickenham, on 1 February 1975.

At 5ft 10 and weighing 13st 5lbs he was diminutive in comparison to other flankers of the day, but he had an energy and a commitment that more than made up for any antatomical short comings .

He went on to win 59 caps and captained France a record 34 times, his final appearance took place at Murrayfield on 17 March 1984 when Scotland defeated France 21-12. 

Rarely seen at rugby matches these days, Rives does not appear to have any yearning for the old life, or to marvel at a collection of rugby honours and mementos that his magnificent career enabled him to accumulate.

“ Because I am not an African hunter, I do not hunt trophies , I don’t want my house to look like a rugby museum, somI give away most things to my friends, jerseys and things like that”.

” That is better because I Know they are happy with such things, happier than me, that is for certain”.

I will end with a somewhat prophetic piece of Rives wisdom, which was aimed at Southern Hemisphere players but now has a global resonance

” I wonder if even having muscle bound cheeks is such a good idea, how can you pass the ball if you are unable to smile “

After sweltering sun filled days and sticky sleepless nights in tropical temperatures, I have arrived back in the UK, to find the rugby season in full swing.


After only the second weekend of action, injuries are already taking their toll.

A member of the press commented, prior to last weekend’s opening games, that Taulupe Faletau never gets injured and never misses a game, after 12 minutes of his debut for Bath both statements were well and truly confounded.

In France Toulon coach Diego Dominguez looked like he would  be receiving  his P45, following a home defeat to Brive, in week 3 of the Top 14, but a convincing 32-15 win away to Toulouse yesterday has certainly given him some breathing space. 

Mourad Boujallel, rugby’s answer to Alan Sugar, has categorically denied that Fabien Galthie is primed to take over from Dominguez, so we can expect the former France scrum half to move in sometime soon.

Warren Gatland was revealed  as Lions coach last week, surely the worst kept secret in rugby history, a situation made even more embarassing when social media plastered photos of Warren, at a photo shoot on the streets of  Edinburgh, dressed in a lions polo shirt, the night before the announcement was due to be made.

The forward pass has hardly been rugby’s blot on the landscape , but it has now suddenly become an enigma wrapped in a riddle, with refereeing directives focusing on hands pointing forwards or back or is it up or down ?, let’s just go back to allowing the man in the middle to make the call as he sees it.

The directive has created more problems relating to the forward pass rule in the space of a week than I can recall over the last forty seven years added together.

Finally it was on this day, September 12, in 1981 that one of the most bizarre rugby international matches took place, between New Zealand and South Africa, at Eden Park Auckland, refereed by Clive Norling.

A match marred by violence outside the ground, and  flour bombing from a light aircraft on to the field of play during the match.

As for the result ? Home Pride won in the end 25-22

HOME THOUGHTS FROM ABROAD

The rugby season has just kicked off in the UK and where am I ?

At the heart of the action you would assume maybe Twickenham for the Aviva premiership double header, or perhaps Parc y Scarlets to see a new exciting back line in action against Munster.

I’m afraid you are wrong on both counts, I am sitting in a cafe in Catalunya in thirty two degrees heat (timing was never my strong point).

As the bright golden morning sun glints off the sea, my Cortado is bightingly strong, the beverage equivalent of a Mamuka Gorgodze tackle, the man himself is a few miles up the road, across the border, getting ready to face Brive, as France’s Top 14 reaches the third week of it’s never ending season.

So, what does the new season hold in store ?

Length is one thing that is guaranteed, as players have to negotiate domestic leagues, European competitions, Autumn internationals, and if any are left standing at the end of all that, there is a Lions tour to New Zealand.

The only way top players will get a rest is through injury, or if their team suffers an early exit from European competition.

Despite the constant lip service from all parties to improving player welfare, the nessessary changes needed still remain as distant and unlikely as the prospect of an All Black citing.

The most surprising news over the last few days comes from Toulon, and Mourad Boujallel, no suprise there !

But on this occasion mild mannered Mourad has declared that it will be an honour, for Toulon, if Leigh Halfpenny is selected for the Lions, and that he can miss any latter stage Top 14 commitments with his blessing…we all waited for the pithy punchline or a scathing footnote…… none of which followed.

The rugby world has turned on its axis, all we need now is an All Black citing !

So as the big kick off starts I’m primed and ready, and I’m off to buy a new pair of havaianas.

Hasta la vista amigos

There was a try in the France v England match, at Parc des Princes in 1986,that captured the poetic beauty and sheer heart stopping majesty that was French rugby.

A French scrum just outside their own “22” Berbizier puts the ball in, twenty seconds later Phillipe Sella is running behind the England posts and touching down for a try.

In between those two acts all artistic and sporting forms combine, from opera to ballet, from gymnastics to athletics along with sleight of hand and fleet of foot.

Berbizier passed to fly half Guy Laporte, a missed pass reached Charvet who fed Eric Bonneval, ten metres from his own line.

Bonneval made an arrow straight run up the centre of the field, a mesmerizing seventy-five metres gained, interspersed with a swerve and dummy, before passing high and left to Denis Charvet thirty metres from the English line.

Charvet took the high pass, flirting with the touch-line, teased the England defence using the ball like a Matador’s cape before delivering the final pass to Sella to apply the coup de grace.

As Les Bleus ran back to the half way line, the sheer joy etched on their faces in the hot  Parisian sunshine, reflected the sheer joy of their artistry, as the crowd rose to their feet, as one, in homage, they were witnessing French rugby as it was meant to be played.

The Basque band beat their drums a little louder as Laporte kicked the conversion.

How we long for just a glimpse of those days in current French international rugby, just one scissors move, a dummy a swerve, a flick of the hips, a swagger or even just a look of unadulterated joy on a players face.

It used to be said that if you played France in Paris with the sun on their backs, then you didn’t have a chance, well lets hope for an extended heatwave this autumn.

The All Blacks demanded a fee of £3 million to play England at Twickenham at the end of their European tour next year, a considerable hike on the £1.5 million England had to fork out for their last visit.

New Zealand have also rejected a proposal from the Barbarians to finish their European trip with a match up between the two teams, at Twickenham, in favour of a potentially more lucrative fixture against a World XV somewhere in the world.

NZ Chief Executive Steve Tew is intent on the implementation of a global season, and has stated that unless an agreement is reached, then the All Blacks will individually negotiate international matches on their own terms.

Maybe the British & Irish Lions would like to reciprocate ?

Lions tours to New Zealand have long been compromised to suit the hosts needs, with ridiculous match schedules, and when you consider the huge financial benefits the New Zealand rugby authorities reap from capacity crowds created by the thousands of visiting fans, it could be argued that the Lions should  hold the upper hand in itinerary negotiations.

The Home Unions I hope will not give in to this All Blackmail, if it comes to it, the Lions can visit Argentina instead,  or even play a summer series at home.

I’m sure the All Blacks major sponsors AIG and Adidas will not be too impressed at the prospect of their products not receiving any exposure in the Northern hemisphere .

I’m a huge fan of New Zealand rugby, they are  best in the world but they don’t own the game and never will, their previous bullying tactics have largely been centred around the Haka.

In 2006 Richie McCaw refused to lead the Haka on the pitch at the Millenium Stadium, as a Protest at the WRU’s decision that Wales should have the right of reply with a stirring hymn.

New Zealand were informed of this eleven months prior to the match, yet decided on their course of action ten minutes before kick off.

They performed the Haka in the changing rooms (shown below) which was shown on the stadiums big screens, robbing thousands of young Welsh and All Black fans of the memorable experience of seeing it performed on the field of play.

There were some very pompous statements made about disrespecting the Haka which quite frankly were poppycock, and when a throat slitting gesture was added to a subsequent version of the Haka, New Zealand came tumbling off their moral high ground .

So stand firm Home Unions, there is only one thing worse than blackmail, and that is All Blackmail.

As the Commonweath Games gets in to full swing on Australia’s Gold Coast my thoughts turn to three Welsh rugby international players, who graced both the rugby field and the athletics track.

The Three athletes, who span three different generations, are all wingers ,all played for Wales with distinction, and also graced the tracks of the Olympic and commonwealth games.

Ken Jones

Ken Jones played 44 times for Wales, scored 17 tries and captained his country on one occasion, staggeringly he is the last Welshman to score a try in a Wales win against New Zealand back in 1953.

Ken was the anchorman of the British 4 x 100 relay team in the 1948 Olympics that won silver, which  was upgraded to Gold, when the USA were disqualified for an illegal baton change, a decision that was rescinded three days later, and the original result was declared official.

In 1954 Ken won another silver medal, this time in the European Championships, as part of Britain’s 4 x 100 relay team, he also won a bronze in the 200 yards, at the 1954 commonwealth games.

When the Commonwealth Games, which were then known as the British Empire and Commonwealth Games, were held in Cardiff, in 1958, Ken Jones was given the honour of being the final runner to carry the baton with the Queen’s message during the opening ceremony.

J.J Williams

J.J is a Wales and Lions legend, and needs no introduction, but as plain John Williams, he ran for Wales in the 1970 Commonwealth games in Edinburgh.

He came fifth in the heats of the 100m, clocking a time of 10.6 behind Hasley Crawford who went on to win Olympic gold at Montreal in 1976.

JJ also reached the quarter finals of the 200m, finishing seventh in a race won by Don Quarrie, and he was also a member of the Wales 4 x 100 relay team who came fifth in the final.

Rhys Williams, JJ’s son has achieved success as a 400m hurdler of international renown, so there are some pretty good genes flying around the Williams dynasty.

Nigel Walker 

Nigel Walker played for Cardiff, and made his rugby debut for Wales on 6 March 1993 against Ireland, he won 17 caps for Wales scoring 12 tries.

Another flying winger, he represented Great Britain at the 1984 Olympics in Los Angeles, reaching the semi final of 110m hurdles clocking a time of 14.07

Nigel had a distinguished athletics career,  winning bronze in the 60m hurdles at both the European and World indoor championships in 1987.

He was also a semi finalist in the 1989 World championships, came fifth in the 1990 Commonwealth games in the 110m hurdles, and reached the semi finals of the world indoor, and outdoor, championships in 1992 in the 60m hurdles event.

His personal best in the 110m hurdles stands at 13.51 achieved in Birmingham in 1990.
 

To be fair I was over the moon when the gaffer asked me to do a moth to man marking job on Ronaldo, I normally play a more floating role, I’m a bit of a flier so I often switch wings.

We couldn’t believe it, me and the lads we came for a warm up the night before the game and they had left all the lights on at the Stade de France it was a dream come true.

To be honest we haven’t forgiven Collina for an incident at a champions league match years ago,  the whole team, pictured here were determined to put things right and his bald head shining  made him an easy target.

Here I am, pictured right, a victim of a late one handed swat early doors from Pepe, Clattenberg didn’t even show him a yellow. 

Ever since I was a caterpillar I’ve dreamt of appearing in a major final, here I am about to reduce the great Cristiano Ronaldo to tears got him in a right flap I did ! I’m much better at diving than he is.